A Fully Occupied Life

I haven't posted like I said I was going to. For a while there I was pretty sick, I had the flu earlier in February, and than managed to catch another strain of it 3 weeks later. Despite that, I had a lot of fun last month. The weather has been amazing for riding. A big group of us went out and did a ride at Soledad Canyon, and then an ACTHA ride at Issac's ranch my first actual horse competition ever, and last weekend a ride with my friend and her walking horses. Yesterday, a potluck out at the barn with good friends and a really delicious portabella mushroom burger I had been looking forward to all week (I know i'm weird, but let me make you one sometime).

April is a new month! Plans for this month include, visiting Phoenix, maybe a few trail rides, The therapeutic riding programs fundraiser, Sky's CGCA title test, and the NMSU horse sale. I have a lot of homework and school projects to stay on top of, as it's really the last month of classes. Maybe we can sneak in some horse time before it really warms up! I can't believe this is my second to last semester (tentatively) at NMSU. I greatly appreciate the opportunity I have had to receive a college education, and will be the first in my family to graduate with this high of a degree. It's exciting and scary. I don't really have a plan! I'll either end up working with dogs, or teaching people about horses, maybe even as a zookeeper for a little while. I'm not completely sure, but life is exciting and i'm living in the moment for once. If a good opportunity comes knocking at my door, I will more than likely pursue it. I don't feel like i'm ready for a career yet, but I am ready for a start.

I have been pretty open lately that my health has given the blessing of different abilities than others. I'm thankful my migraines are starting to be better under control, and I have been able to accomplish more in school as of lately because of that. Still, I can't help but feel like a crickety 70 year old lady half the time. My joints hurt almost all the time. No one knows why or can seem to give me a straight answer. It makes it hard to work out other than riding horses, there really isn't much I have been able to do. I miss riding my bike a lot, and running. Sky and I went on a hike today but I was alone and didn't want to over do it, so it turned out to be jut about 2 miles long (not that far). It scares me to think about if i'm even going to be able to find a job or a career i'm physically capable of handling. I need friends to be supportive and understanding when I say i'm struggling, this is what I mean. I think and hope things are going to get better, but I really don't know.

Something New

   I was eating Thai food the other night, one of my new bad habits when i'm sick, and pondering my life. How did I get where I am? I'm going to be 21 in less than a year, I'm not a kid anymore. Although people frequently mistake me for a freshman in high school. 

 My life has always been planned far in advance. It seems as if I have known exactly who i'm going to be and what i'm going to do in the next 5 years. 5 years ago I would have told you I was going to go to Colorado State University and study veterinary medicine, specializing in equine orthopedic surgery after I graduated from undergrad with a degree in Animal Science. 

 What happened? I got burnt out. It happens to everyone at some point. I was living in the future and not in the present. Anxious, scared and yes, even depressed. I'm still not completely okay with who I am, and honestly don't feel much like myself. But, I have a plan! 

When I finish my undergrad, I won't really have a degree in animal science, but rather just a bachelors degree. That's okay for now. I will look for a job as a dog trainer, that pays enough for me to pay off my student loans. It's the one thing in life that I absolutely love. In the back of my mind, I still really kind of want to go into a medical profession. I can go back to school for that later if I so choose. I have always loved school. This is the first time in my life that I have really had a dislike for it. My ultimate goal in life I suppose, is to find happiness. 

To find happiness you really do have to live in the moment. This blog is going to be an "in the moment" blog, I will write a post at least every other day. It might be about eating Thai food, riding my favorite horse, or maybe about something really cool my service dog did that day. My life is definitely not "normal".  It is full of passion, adventure, empathy, creativity, and respect. I don't even know how best to explain it all! I'm introverted yet outgoing for the most part. Quiet, yet speak my mind, even if it might be confusing for others. What ever it is that ends up being posted, I hope you enjoy it!